Unyolked marriage

petal · Newbie Alert Joined: 11 May 2007 Posts: 2

I have a dear old friend (Bob) who is married to a lovely girl (Sue). He says their marriage is strong and that they are very happy. They have a gorgeous little 4 yr old boy. Sue found God some years before meeting Bob; when they started dating Bob's love for Sue was so great that he threw himself into Bible study in order to learn all about being a Christian.

Last month Bob told my husband that he had written to their pastor to say that he no longer believed and that he wished to leave the church. Sue was devastated - Bob told my husband that "she cried".

I am worried for their relationship now. Bob seems unaware as to the how upsetting this is for Sue. He is a very honest and decent man and would never leave his family. But I am worried that the relationship will suffer.

Has anyone had experience with an 'unyolked marriage' -can they work?

lone-traveler · Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 5:46 am Post subject:

Hi petal,

I'm a christian. I can't tell you what my husband is, he won't talk about it. Says it's a private and personal matter and doesn't want to argue about religion. We've been together for about seven years. We are happy.
As far as Bob and Sue goes well, Bob could be going through a stage in his life. I know I've been through them a couple times myself.
Maybe Sue should just give him some space and let him come back around when it's time.
The more he's pushed the farther he'll run. So sometimes it better just to give them time.

My husband and I discuss religious topics but he won't tell me what he ultimately believes...keeps me guessing..
so we just talk, no pressure, no judgments..
And a lot of times he brings up the questions first.

I believe that once you have believed that God exists, that belief will always nag you.. Wink

If it didn't then atheists wouldn't visit christian forums.. Wink

Sometimes God's nagging works better than anyone else's.. Laughing

I would just tell Sue to give him some space and he'll probably come back around.
Pray for him and don't give up on him, but don't drag him either.

Like the bird that is set free, they'll come back if it's meant to be.

Hugs
Lone
_________________
Joh 15:14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
Joh 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

hugh · Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 3:50 am Post subject:

Hi Petal,

nothing happens over night and i agree with Lone, time is all he needs and if you push the futher that person will resist. Ask me i know. It took my wife 17 of pray to get me to bible study. And then i still wanted a lot of answers. The person must want on there own to walk that road , YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM.

What got to me is that my wife believed, and when ever i saw her reading the bible at night, i saw that she was the one in the family with the strong faith and i was the weak one. She never pushed me and one day i just asked can i come with and little did i know that the bible study group had being waiting for that day for so long. Was a bit of a shock. I still feel at times that i slip back, but now i know i have God and my wife to help me back
on to the track. So don't give up, no matter how long it takes.

hugh.

pastor2022 · Moderator Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 769

Petal,
I can really only echo what Hugh and Lone have said but having been in the ministry for over 40 years, I can say that I have seen many marriages of believers and non-believers that have worked. It's not been easy for the believers, but the scripture tells the believers that if the unbelieving partner doesn't want to end the marriage, they (the believer) should stay in the marriage. With that said, I also agree with Lone and Hugh that God is the one who does the bringing of someone to Himself. Yes, He uses our example and witness but ultimately it is by His Spirit. I will pray for your friends.
Pastor2022

Nobby · Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 2:51 pm Post subject:

High pastor2022, I guess this one will have to be a tripple echo, I agree with Lone, Hugh & you paster.

It was as though Hugh was talking about me, when he was talking about his self!
When I got married my wife had been saved several years. Her grandmother had taken her to church gatherings when she was very young. (Bible school)

While we were dating I went to church just to impress Peggy. I think it worked some!

But something happened that I wasn't prepared for, I started getting interested! Huh! Well I got saved. Figured it would be all down hill from there on! Ha! Was I wrong, just the opposite!!

Satan dosen't pay much attention to you until he's lost you!! Some of my problems were just starting! But the Holy Spirit has always got me thru anything that Satan could throw at me. I'm now 70yrs young. I am very happy. "God is so Great!!"
Love you Folks,
_________________
Much Love Nobby
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petal · Newbie Alert Joined: 11 May 2007 Posts: 2

Hello - you are all such wonderful, kind, supportive people! Thank you so much for your kind and honest words - I feel much better now. Smile

pastor2022 · Moderator Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 769

Hi, Nobby! I've seen more of your experience during my time in the ministry than I can count. Just recently in our own church there's a lady whose husband got saved several months ago after 40 years of marriage! She's been praying for him this whole time. I've been pastor of this church for 12 years and have had the opportunity to witness to him many times over these years and he would acknowledge his need but would never do anything about it. I never pushed him but always told him I loved and was praying for him. Finally, one Sunday night during our service, he came forward and asked me to pray with him. It was a glorius time! Since then, her son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter have been saved! You're so right, God IS good!

saibe · Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 8:58 pm Post subject:

Nobby · Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 9:50 pm Post subject: