Glad I found this...

Shaustin · Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:45 pm Post subject: Glad I found this...

Hi everyone,
My name is Justin. I am new to Christianity (about 5 years) and found it through my wife who has been devoted to Christ since she was a little girl.
I guess I need a site like this because right now I am going through so much and finding it hard to find comfort in God. I so want to be faithful and be able to praise Him always, in good and bad.
Just a brief over-view...I hated God when I was younger, for many reasons. I somewhat believed He existed but never wanted to know Him. I grew up in a good family, my birth father gave me up for adoption when I was 3 and my step-dad adopted me. I always had an issue trusting men because of this. My step-dad is amazing and so glad he took me in, but still angry that I was "not good enough" for my birth father. My mom was really against religion, grew up in a Jahova's Witness household, was abused and eventually kicked out from the house at 16 because she refused to follow. So, I just followed her and felt strongly against it.
Fast forward a few years, I met my wife. She brought me to God as we were married in a Lutheran church and I had to go to a class to become a member, and from their began to believe in God and also look towards him for comfort. We have been married 3 1/2 years and been through so much. My wife is in medical school, I am a teacher so financially, life has been tough. We found out we were pregnant 9 months ago but soon lost the baby to a miscarriage. This was very challenging to me because I didn't understand why God would allow this to happen to us. So for those, 8 months I was angry at God. I soon began to read a book about being a man of God in tough times and began to praise Him again. Two weeks later, my beloved dog, Bailey, was killed on my wifes birthday by a car. I refused to be mad at God but continued to praise him and thank him for the love I had for Bailey and the time we had together. Two weeks later we found out we were pregnant again! We were very excited, began reading about Spiritual Pregnancy, which is allowing God to take care of it all, praising him for everything and bring us no fear, as fear is from the Devil, allowing for a safe and healthy pregnancy and reading passages about pregnancy. Two weeks later, we find out the baby was ectopic (in the left fallopian tube). So, the pregnancy had to be terminated and an injection was given to my wife to stop the pregnancy. One week later, the medicine had not worked, she needed another injection. Three days later, still nothing and in the ER because my wifes left tube had ruptured, she lost over half of her blood and the left tube was removed. So now having a child will even be more difficult. The first pregnancy and this pregnancy have no connection, just bad luck. The injection has a high success rate, but again, we just got bad luck. We were just getting up-to-date on our finances and now have hospitals bills like crazy. I am so sad, angry, confused and in need of support.
I am thankful my wife did not die, I am thankful we have each other, but I am finding it hard to keep my faith in God as so many people around me have healthy babies. I am not sure where to turn. In addition, my birth father and I have met and tried to get a relationship going, but really dropped the ball once this whole ordeal happened. I feel alone and sad. I just want God to let me know he loves me and won't leave me astray, but thus far, I feel as though I continue to get let down.
Anyway, sad story, but I love my wife more than life itself, I love my job and wouldn't trade any of it for anything. Just hoping for some guidance and friendships guided through Christ. Thanks for listening.
Justin

Nobby · Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:22 am Post subject: WELCOME!!

Shaustin, (Justin)
Thank you for your introduction. I sure that you can find friendship & people willing to talk to you here!
I want to welcome you to our board. Just feel at home here. Check out our Board Rules at the top of the page.
Just enjoy your stay with our group. Very Happy

God's Blessings be with you.
_________________
Much Love Nobby
CVP Smilies
dictionary Bible

atoz · Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:16 am Post subject: Re: Glad I found this...

hi Justin,

hang in there.
welcome.

God is working with you: those miscarriages are not by accident: they tie with your hate for your dad: to hate your dad means that you hate yourself as your dad and that you hate God as your dad and you hate your wife also as your mother: so in attitude, you are just like your dad and wd have been just as bad for your kids as he was to you: that's why God spared them. God of course sent your wife to save you.
see ezekiel 16:44-45 and matthew 23:29-32.

So u need to repent of the first sin of hating yourself as your dad, so you can love yourslef as your dad and as God and be the best husband and best dad for any future kids. maybe God will make you adopt a kid to see how you shd have felt when you were adopted.
see rom 8:28: espec the bad things.
Adoptees are really loved since the adopters really WANT you: Lovers are best parents: so you got the best!
Please read ezekiel 23:28, Job 3:25
Acts 2:38-40.
Please ask questions so I wd know how to help you more.

praying in love for u and wife.

with Love,
atoz

MoJo · Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 7:30 am Post subject:

hi Justin. Welcome to the board. Hope you find some fellowship and comfort in your sorrows with us.

Very Happy

_________________
matt 6: 34 "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

Shaustin · Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 11:27 am Post subject: tough statement...

Atoz,
Thank you for response and suggested readings. I will definetly be reading them. Some of your statements where hard to swallow, but in a round about way, it is very true, I do not like myself and have a hard time loving me. Others around me seem to love me and think the world of me, but I don't seem to feel that way about myself. As for my step-dad, he was wonderful and i love him deeply, never have hated him or the life he gave me. Thank you and I will get back to you once I read those passages.
Thank you
Justin

atoz · Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 4:49 pm Post subject: Re: tough statement...

pastor2022 · Moderator Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 766

Hi, Shaustin! Glad that you've found this forum and that you've found Christ! I will be praying for you and hope that you enjoy being here. Join in on the boards as it's a lot of fun and you'll learn a lot. See you around!

theseldomscene · Banned Joined: 17 Mar 2005 Posts: 7817

hello...and welcome...