dating

Nobby · Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2002 11:59 am Post subject: dating

Hi Magnum,
Again I tend to agree with you!
But you don't take it far enough,
Christian people are not the only people that feel this way! Non-believers are just as quilty of this, more so than christians,
because there are so many more of them.
Not a morning goes by when I go out for coffee & talk with people, that I don't hear
people saying nasty things about another race!
You call them down about it you get cussed at for your input! At least when I say the same thing to a christian friend, we can work it out! That's the difference Magnum.

Now "Magnum", I'm going to tell you my fellings on this matter! You knew I was gonna
do this didn't you!! lol!
Now mind you this is my belief and not from the bible! But I will look this up later!
Inner marriage does not personaly bother me as it does some people. That said!
In years past that was a no,no! Inner marriage caused a lot of family problems over the years.
The children were tormented & made fun of in school. It's not thought of so much today.
But it still happens all to often!
Inner marriage some times doesn't always show up until way down the line.
A white couple gets married & have one or two white children,Then what a Shock!! their third child is BLACK!! This can end a
marriage, I've seen it happen!
The same thing can be said of a black couple or any other race.
Call me a rasest, I'm not!
We're all God's Children, and we better be careful how we treat each other!
There I had my say!

God bless you all,
Nobby

[This message has been edited by Nobby (edited 11-02-2002).]

ChristysHeart · Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2002 5:20 pm Post subject: dating

I don't know that I can add anything new and interesting to this topic, but maybe I can throw something for everyone to chew on.

When I was 17 I met this wonderful man in my church (I'm catholic). He smiled at me and I melted. I thought he was absolutely fantastic and of course we all know that not all 17year old Catholic girls are all that bright when it comes to dating. My parents approved of him BECAUSE he was from our "social" circle as they put it. He went to our church, he was "our" kind of person. We dated for 2 years, never having any kind of sexual relationship, got engaged and on the day befor our wedding, this "wonderful man" beat and raped me and put me in the hospital for 4 weeks.

Almost a year later, I re-met a young man I had worked with while in high school. His family are non-practicing Jehova's Witness's. I can tell you now how appalled my family was when they found this out. He is what you would term now, not as a non-believer, but rather a non practicer. We dated for a year and got married and today is our Six year wedding anniversary. I have held fast to my faith in God, and we have wonderful discussions about God and his plan for us and our lives, but I don't push my religious beliefs on him or his family.

We have learned that the truth path to OUR happiness is acceptance of each others souls.

So basically what I'm saying is that you have to find someone who accepts you for who you are, accepts your path to God and has no wish to change it, and if possible who shares that interest. But if you limit yourself to those possibilites, you may also limit yourself to having and sharing one of the most beautiful things God has given us. Life.

Blessings,
Christy

Nobby · Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2002 7:04 pm Post subject: dating

Christy,
All I can say is "Wow"!!!

admin · Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2002 9:17 pm Post subject: dating

Hi Magnum,
Wow, this is the first time I disagree with you! Taking the Christian marrying a Christian belief over to mixing races is a little extreme I think, if not silly.

Being Christian is a chosen set of beliefs and crosses cultural divides. The reason my friends believe that Christians should marry fellow Christians is that if they don't, then their will always be very basic arguments of beliefs, values and decision making. It is hard enough to try to retain Christian values in this world without fighting them on the home front as well.

As you know, I'm not a fundamentalist, but I do understand their reasoning. I would imagine it would be extremely difficult for instance for a fundamentalist Christian to be married to a member of Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism.

The difference between this and race? Religious beliefs are chosen by the individual. Race and national heritage are not. People of the same race can run the gamut of all beliefs, personalities and doctrines.

Cybermonsters (Most Beloved Admin)

Van · Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2002 6:13 am Post subject: dating

I am not sure how you limit dating to Christians only, because until you get to know someone, you have very little to base your assessment upon.

I met a nice Catholic girl and we dated for a while. She asked me if I was a Catholic and I said no, I was a Baptist. But we talked about marriage, and about putting the other person first and about raising kids consistent with our understanding of the Bible.

We got married. I am still married to that girl and I love her now, more than ever. So do my grandkids.

Magnum PI · Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2002 8:54 am Post subject: dating

quote:
Originally posted by admin:
Hi Magnum,
Wow, this is the first time I disagree with you! Taking the Christian marrying a Christian belief over to mixing races is a little extreme I think, if not silly.

Oh come on! The underlining principle is the same! Discrimination, prejudice, bigotry, intollerance...whatever you want to label it it is the same! For a Christian to limit themselves to another Christian just because of a belief system is flat out wrong! So is one wanting to marry within one's own race just because of race is equally wrong! Both examples are prejudiced/discriminative choices based not on who the person actually is but rather something arbitrarily ascribed (i.e., stereotyped label, belief, race, etc.) of them.

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Being Christian is a chosen set of beliefs and crosses cultural divides.

And race doesn't involve an individual's set of beliefs and cross 'cultural divides'?

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The reason my friends believe that Christians should marry fellow Christians is that if they don't, then their will always be very basic arguments of beliefs, values and decision making.

NEWS FLASH!!! That's a (psychologically normal) part of every relationship REGARDLESS of religious beliefs!

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It is hard enough to try to retain Christian values in this world without fighting them on the home front as well.

As if there's an actual concensus on Christian beliefs in this country. Sorry to disappoint you but there will always be a difference of personally held values between people, even of the same faith!

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As you know, I'm not a fundamentalist, but I do understand their reasoning.

Which is a grossly flawed reasoning!

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I would imagine it would be extremely difficult for instance for a fundamentalist Christian to be married to a member of Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism.

And you wonder why this planet has seen so many violent wars, bloodshed and families torn apart over religious beliefs.

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The difference between this and race? Religious beliefs are chosen by the individual. Race and national heritage are not.

Ah...but one's race does not define them as a person while religion can. Hence, the discrimination, prejudice, intollerance, etc. as every likely potential of being 'taught' (which it often is, this thread and some of the responses being one shining example) by religious dogma!

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People of the same race can run the gamut of all beliefs, personalities and doctrines.

What a simplistically narrow view of "individuality" you have! Sorry Cyber but just because someone is of the same race as another doesn't mean they are automatically going to share 'all' the same beliefs, personalities and doctrines as the others.

For example, does Jesse Jackson share 'all' the same beliefs, personality and doctrines as say Clarence Thomas, Collin Powell, Booker T. Washington or Denzel Washington just because they are of the same race and share national heritage? I think NOT!

MPI

[This message has been edited by Magnum PI (edited 11-03-2002).]

Van · Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:06 am Post subject: dating

I think freedom of association is an important freedom. Why would someone argue against it? The Bible teaches we should be careful in choosing our associates. Should I put my children in the care of strangers?
Should I choose a known liar to represent my interests? Or should I have a dream and march with Martin Luther King?

Magnum PI · Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2002 11:02 am Post subject: dating

quote:
Originally posted by Van:
The Bible teaches we should be careful in choosing our associates.

Careful being the operative word.

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Should I put my children in the care of strangers?

=Daycare, Schools, YMCA, etc.

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Should I choose a known liar to represent my interests?

=Politicians, Religious Leaders (i.e., Jim Baker), etc.

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Or should I have a dream and march with Martin Luther King?

Sr or Jr? Either way, they're dead. Good luck trying to march with either one of them!

MPI

Tiger75 · Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2002 1:07 am Post subject: dating

Dating, Hi folks - quite an emotional topic. Not very easy to look at this one totally objectively!

With regards to this subject the Bible doesn't really have much to say. It's only input on the matter is:

1) Sex before marriage is wrong. [Or for those who want to be pedantic: Sex with another, other than the first is wrong. (24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.) The marriage principle is the definitely the best one!]

2) In marriage (and business) it says: 1 Cor 14 "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? " So if we are to heed scripture our 'life partners' in mariiage and business should be Christian. (If you want an addition, subjectively that is, I would say a 'like-minded' and 'keen' Christian.)

So outside of that, in my father's words, "Go with the flow" and Jiminy Cricket's "always let your conscience be your guide".

Happy hunting, Tiger